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Sorry, I can't. But there are people who can. We call them translators. And one of the really good ones is Erik J. Macki who translated my books from German into English. Which is not as simple as it sounds, because I love to invent words. But Erik understands me and my special sort of humour and brings the stories to you. I hope you are grateful - I certainly am.

Morgue Drawer: Clink or Cooler?

Morgue Drawer: Clink or Cooler?

Pascha's fifth mission

Amateur sleuth and restless spirit Pascha gets the chance of a post-lifetime when a reporter turns up dead. Detective Gregor Kreidler-a friend of Pascha's crime-fighting partner, coroner Martin Gänsewein-tops the list of suspects for the murder of Susanne Hauschild, who also happens to be Gregor's ex-wife. Martin already has his hands full with his girlfriend—who's ready to give birth any day-and he's too distracted to comb the streets, so Pascha decides to play ghost cop with gusto. He discovers that Susanne had been investigating a cluster of mysterious deaths at a retirement home before her own death. And retracing her steps leads Pascha to a shady nightclub owner with his own reasons for evading the law. With his unique ability to do detective work undetected, can Pascha solve the case?

translated by Erik J. Macki    |    ISBN 978-1503944473    |    also available as ebook and audiobook

Morgue Drawer: Do not enter!

Morgue Drawer: Do not enter!

Pascha's fourth mission

Pascha, the snarky ghost of a deceased twenty-five-year-old, finds himself stuck between this world and the next with no one to talk to aside from Martin, a coroner with the dubious gift of being able to hear the dead. Since Martin prefers his girlfriend's company to Pascha's, Pascha is stuck haunting hospital rooms and accident sites hoping to meet a spirit who will stay a while and keep him company. He gets more than he bargained for when four small children are gravely injured in a car accident and put into induced comas, letting their anxious little spirits out to roam. What's more, the young teacher who had been driving the totaled van seems to have disappeared into thin air. Pascha suddenly becomes not only a reluctant babysitter but an unlikely detective in this quirky, engrossing murder mystery from celebrated German author Jutta Profijt.

translated by Erik J. Macki    |    ISBN 978-1477826409    |    also available as ebook and audiobook

MOrgue Drawer For Rent

Morgue Drawer For Rent

Pascha's third mission

Wishing to return to his peaceful life and spend more time with his girlfriend, coroner Martin Gänsewein wants nothing more than to rid himself of his foulmouthed undead sidekick, Pascha. Unfortunately, such things are easier said than done. When bodies at the local cemetery begin to turn up sans organs, Martin and Pascha are once again forced into partnership to solve the case. With the stakes higher and body count greater, Martin realizes he has no hope of ever finding solace until he solves one last crime.

Picking up where Morgue Drawer Next Door left off, this third chapter in the gruesomely hilarious crime-solving saga delves deeper into the relationship between Martin and Pascha and is sure to please fans of the series.

translated by Erik J. Macki    |    ISBN 978-1611090420    |    also available as ebook and audiobook

Morgue Drawer Next Door

Morgue Drawer Next Door

Pascha's second mission

Life and death are not so black and white at the city morgue in Cologne, Germany. There, Dr. Martin Gänsewein, a shy, scrupulour forensic pathologist, spends his days autopsying dead bodies-and conversing with a ghost named Pascha, a gregarious former car thief whose murder Martin reluctantly helped solve in Morgue Drawer Four. Martin now returns to work anxious for a little peace and quiet. Not only is the doctor out of luck, but the morgue soon welcomes Marlene, the spirit of a nun. Though disappointed that his new sidekick isn't a leggy blonde, Pascha empathizes with the recently deceased holy sister-and suspects the fire that claimed her life was no accident. The ghosts are determined to uncover the truth, but they can't do it without Martin's help. Together with Martin's girlfriend Birgit, the trio embarks upon a madcap (and frequently hilarious) adventure that will enchant readers from beginning to end.

translated by Erik J. Macki    |    ISBN 978-1611090406    |    also available as ebook and audiobook

Morgue Drawer Four

Morgue Drawer Four

Pascha's first mission

Coroner is the perfect job for Dr. Martin Gänsewein, who spends his days in peace and quiet autopsying dead bodies for the city of Cologne. Shy, but scrupulous, Martin appreciates his taciturn clients-until the day one of them starts talking to him. It seems the ghost of a recently deceased (and surprisingly chatty) small-time car thief named Pascha is lingering near his lifeless body in drawer number four of Martin's morgue. He remains for one reason: his "accidental" death was, in fact, murder. Pascha is furious his case will go unsolved-to say nothing of his body's dissection upon Martin's autopsy table. But since Martin is the only person Pascha can communicate with, the ghost settles in with the good pathologist, determined to bring the truth of his death to light. Now Martin's staid life is rudely upended as he finds himself navigating Cologne's red-light district and the dark world of German car smuggling. Unless Pascha can come up with a plan-and fast-Martin will soon be joining him in the spirit world.

Witty and unexpected, Morgue Drawer Four introduces a memorable (and reluctant) detective unlike any other in fiction today.

Morgue Drawer Four was shortlisted for Germany's 2010 Friedrich Glauser Prize for best crime novel.

translated by Erik J. Macki    |    ISBN 978-1611090321    |    also available as ebook and audiobook

Dust Angel

Dust Angel

jobless, homeless and loveless in Düsseldorf

Losing her posh advertising job, her boyfriend, and her apartment all in the same morning has left Corinna Leyendecker with a massive mess where her life should be. She tries to get things back on track, but soon it's clear that following the rules is getting her nowhere. So she decides to start doing things her way… With the help of a quirky friend-and some unconventional branding-Corinna launches her own business: an elite cleaning service for wealthy men. And business is booming…until the day she finds a dead man in the house of a fussy new client. Corinna's instinct is to clean up, but body disposal isn't easy when you're juggling work, friendships, media attention, and a nasty flu. It's going to take more than a little elbow grease to finish this dirty job and come out clean.

translated by Erik J. Macki    |    ISBN 978-1611090444    |    also available as ebook and audiobook